Tuesday, August 13, 2013

Did you know about the Autism?

Did you know my son has autism? Our family members and close friends know all to well that my son is autistic.  It is a topic of conversation quite often due to speech therapy, dietary restrictions and a few melt downs that could have been on the local news. lol 
This is the first time I've said anything about it to strangers.  
After many years of trying to become pregnant I decided To give up just In time to learn that I was 8 weeks into a life changing event.  I had a hard time with my pregnancy.  I had complications with low amniotic fluid and high blood pressure.  My doctor decided to perform a c-section a week ½ early. 
DJ  arrived December 13, 2006 at  8lbs and was beautiful.  I held him for that first moment but the nurses saw his breathing was labored.  The rushed him into ICU and there I waited for hours with my husband rushing back and forth desperately trying to learn what was happening to our precious angel.
He remained there for 11 days.  The doctors told us he would be fine but his lungs were premature. 
We brought him home Christmas Eve to our family and it was the greatest Christmas I had ever experienced. 
Within months we noticed DJ wasn’t meeting his milestones.  He was distant and wouldn’t talk.  His 2nd birthday came with even more complications.  Wild fits of banging his head against walls, crying, screaming and unable to touch my son for fear he would hit me.  Those months were agony.  We finally
Pleaded for help and the doctors  had him tested.  We already knew the answer was AUTISM.  Hearing the doctors say the word felt like a slap in the face.  We wondered what happened?  What did we do wrong?  Who was to blame?  I feared I would never be able to talk to my child, hold him or see him
Live a happy life. 
You hear those parents say AT THE support group meetings “My child is disabled and we’ve been through a lot but we wouldn’t change a thing”  .  I felt differently!  I wanted to stand up with my fist in the air and scream SHUT UP! Nobody with half a brain wants this!   I was angry and jealous of those perfect parents with their perfect kids.  Yeah I admit it!  My husband on the other hand is the better half in this marriage.  He would lovingly say “we can make it” hes going to be ok. 
One day when DJ was two he twisted his ankle and I took him to the doctor.  The nurses couldn’t understand why I was frustrated and why DJ wasn’t answering their questions.  I yelled and said He’s Autistic!  And started crying like a mad woman.  A very quiet young doctor walked in and told me that he was in fact on the autistic spectrum and worked in another section of the hospital and heard my ranting. 
I was embarrassed and apologized.  He bluntly informed me that my son was autistic but he understood everything.  He was almost 4 before he started speaking and here he was … the head of his department.
He informed me that his mother pushed him and though it was hard he had finished school and went into medicine.  He liked medical research and seemed happy for someone that through this whole conversation hadn’t looked me in the eyes.  BUT… my son had watched him the whole time.  That conversation changed my life and DJ’s too.
My husband and I enrolled DJ in school at 3 years old.   He’s been in speech therapy for most of his childhood.  I hated seeing him leave me and not being able to enjoy a stay at home mom.  God had other plans for both of us. 
DJ today still is autistic.  I would love to say he is 100 % normal and all is well.  However, he is now starting 1st grade this year.  The kid I could barely touch 3 years ago is speaking sentences.  He is in regular classes with the other kids.   He has those typical quirks of not wanting to look someone in the eye sometimes and his language gets mumbled sometimes.  He is smart and funny like his father. 

Do I still wish I could change this?  YES!  Every moment of every day.  I also see that with the Autism complications that the little goals mean so much more.  DJ gets a good grade for sharing and it’s like hes just been elected president. Any parent of an autistic child knows what I mean.